








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1074 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14838 | 33% |
| Smokes | 12256 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9977 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7588 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,202 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irregular | 85% | 189 |
| #2 | 𝚁.𝙸.𝙿. 💀 | 84% | 147 |
| #3 | Dill Dough | 80% | 69 |
| #4 | BigDickDonny | 78% | 315 |
| #5 | Jake ⚡ | 76% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Duh Moose | 75% | 59 |
| #7 | Black_Hole | 70% | 229 |
| #8 | Professor Tart | 54% | 54 |
| #9 | BeatDestroyer44 | 51% | 68 |
| #10 | Americas_Finest | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Americas_Finest | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Dill Dough | 20 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | Black_Hole | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Irregular | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | BigDickDonny | 11 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black_Hole | 305 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jake ⚡ | 232 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Irregular | 201 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | BigDickDonny | 145 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | BeatDestroyer44 | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black_Hole | +4.32 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | 𝚁.𝙸.𝙿. 💀 | +3.47 | 99 | 69 |
| #3 | Jonny | +2.36 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | BigDickDonny | +2.00 | 84 | 41 |
| #5 | Duh Moose | +0.99 | 67 | 57 |





