








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2207 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2581 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2823 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2353 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,885 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FUFU.exe | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | cardboard eater | 43% | 87 |
| #3 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 42% | 100 |
| #4 | m0E TV | 40% | 188 |
| #5 | ✪ Reinn | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FUFU.exe | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | cardboard eater | 43% | 87 |
| #3 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 42% | 100 |
| #4 | m0E TV | 40% | 188 |
| #5 | ✪ Reinn | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0E TV | 54 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | ✪ Reinn | 14 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | FUFU.exe | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | cardboard eater | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0E TV | 715 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | ✪ Reinn | 328 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | cardboard eater | 212 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | FUFU.exe | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | +3.13 | 84 | 46 |
| #2 | ✪ Reinn | +1.76 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | m0E TV | -0.00 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | I have more sex than you | -0.02 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | FUFU.exe | -0.27 | 61 | 55 |





