








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3338 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2615 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1777 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,678 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Reinn | 50% | 123 |
| #2 | FUFU.exe | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 44% | 102 |
| #4 | cardboard eater | 41% | 90 |
| #5 | I have more sex than you | 40% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Reinn | 50% | 123 |
| #2 | FUFU.exe | 48% | 58 |
| #3 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 44% | 102 |
| #4 | cardboard eater | 41% | 90 |
| #5 | I have more sex than you | 40% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I have more sex than you | 34 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | ✪ Reinn | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | FUFU.exe | 14 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | cardboard eater | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Reinn | 511 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | I have more sex than you | 278 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | cardboard eater | 215 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | FUFU.exe | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 操你妈 MR SWAG BOSS 操你妈 | +3.42 | 84 | 43 |
| #2 | ✪ Reinn | +2.16 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | m0E TV | +0.31 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | I have more sex than you | -0.22 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | FUFU.exe | -1.39 | 61 | 55 |





