










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 450 | 19% |
| Smokes | 327 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,108 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kazo | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | risk | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Yuuko | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Jun | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | felm^ | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felm^ | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Yuuko | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Jun | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | risk | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | t.tv/akiratamazato | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felm^ | 167 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | risk | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yuuko | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jun | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | t.tv/akiratamazato | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felm^ | +3.88 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | Yuuko | +1.39 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | risk | +1.18 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Jun | +1.14 | 86 | 57 |
| #5 | t.tv/akiratamazato | -0.50 | 22 | 52 |





