








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 23% |
| Smokes | 330 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,936 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtle | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | PK Freeze | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Ace | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | JAWA | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | mas | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Deity | 59% | 17 |
| #9 | vSugma | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙣 | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | M1ckW1ck | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Spark | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PK Freeze | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Turtle | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 42 | 0.49 | 1 min |
| #2 | Deity | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | PK Freeze | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | PriceWOO | 14 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Turtle | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vSugma | +5.22 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | mas | +3.81 | 73 | 37 |
| #3 | Turtle | +3.50 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | PriceWOO | +2.73 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | Deity | +1.13 | 58 | 62 |





