








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2142 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2026 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2517 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1961 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,658 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | ogheksa | 67% | 225 |
| #3 | hovinen | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Oranssi | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | ogheksa | 67% | 225 |
| #3 | hovinen | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Oranssi | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogheksa | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jeff | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Oranssi | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogheksa | 455 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jeff | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | hovinen | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Oranssi | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solarb0b0 | +5.34 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | ogheksa | +1.95 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | Jeff | -0.12 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | Oranssi | -1.29 | 65 | 48 |
| #5 | hovinen | -2.91 | 58 | 49 |





