








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1628 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1060 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1077 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 543 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,785 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donpollo2982 | 94 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | ogheksa | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | solarb0b0 | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | black man eating corndogs | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | dr. troglodyte | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solarb0b0 | +6.87 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | dr. troglodyte | +2.64 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | donpollo2982 | +1.75 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | ogheksa | +1.37 | 83 | 75 |
| #5 | Jeff | +0.40 | 56 | 58 |





