








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 502 | 21% |
| Smokes | 788 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 475 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 586 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,062 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mat^xDxD9_9 | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | l'ARTISTE | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | y4nnisss | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | LOLOOOOOOOOO | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Styff | 63% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | flex | 60% | 15 |
| #8 | hqx_x | 58% | 64 |
| #9 | vincinho | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | smooth_criminal ⚡ | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | Pavlov | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hqx_x | 227 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 165 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Styff | 130 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | mat^xDxD9_9 | 103 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | vincinho | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | +2.13 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | hqx_x | +2.08 | 95 | 56 |
| #3 | asdf | +1.71 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | l'ARTISTE | +1.63 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | mat^xDxD9_9 | +1.54 | 82 | 75 |





