








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3648 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2513 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2072 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1145 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,269 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mat^xDxD9_9 | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | h3xtechh_hh | 67% | 104 |
| #3 | y4nnisss | 66% | 65 |
| #4 | nadinaRoy | 65% | 63 |
| #5 | fRancisco | 64% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | y4nnisss | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | max | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | LOLOOOOOOOOO | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | TEKO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 735 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | vincinho | 405 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | smooth_criminal ⚡ | 403 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Styff | 390 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | TEKO | 348 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | +2.87 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | h3xtechh_hh | +2.67 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | hqx_x | +2.42 | 96 | 56 |
| #4 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | +2.33 | 91 | 76 |
| #5 | asdf | +1.56 | 83 | 58 |





