








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1376 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1425 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 911 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,915 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mat^xDxD9_9 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | latessmax | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | LOLOOOOOOOOO | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | asdf | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | flex | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | hqx_x | 48% | 86 |
| #12 | nadinaRoy | 46% | 13 |
| #13 | h3xtechh_hh | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | l'ARTISTE | 38% | 8 |
| #15 | TEKO | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hqx_x | 387 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | 207 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | vincinho | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | smooth_criminal ⚡ | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | asdf | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hqx_x | +2.43 | 96 | 55 |
| #2 | mat^xDxD9_9 | +2.29 | 63 | 77 |
| #3 | asdf | +1.46 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | Dawny (ง’̀-‘́)ง | +1.38 | 89 | 74 |
| #5 | h3xtechh_hh | +0.83 | 83 | 63 |





