








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1744 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2364 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2535 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,959 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 690 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berserker | 53% | 146 |
| #2 | Cystic | 52% | 105 |
| #3 | speedk3ks | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | fightgurke | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | yANNIK ;. | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berserker | 699 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | speedk3ks | 305 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cystic | 295 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | RAMBAZAMBA | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | yANNIK ;. | 172 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedk3ks | +1.71 | 58 | 61 |
| #2 | fightgurke | +1.55 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | Cystic | +1.44 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Mamamohawk | +1.07 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Berserker | +0.70 | 59 | 74 |





