








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2469 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3773 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3710 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5025 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,609,751 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 'DarreN' R <3 Lidia | 47% | 30 |
| #12 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | froZen | 44% | 27 |
| #13 | LALEEEE | 40% | 55 |
| #14 | steppo | 36% | 44 |
| #15 | tiMm3 | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moon.exe | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | halbglatzenpeek | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | steppo | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | der_Metzger | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | tiMm3 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moon.exe | 553 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | halbglatzenpeek | 540 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | der_Metzger | 220 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | keev | 206 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | LALEEEE | 188 | 0.16 | 3 min |





