








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 685 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2756 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2952 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2497 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,918,439 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DreckigerDan(DD) | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | halbglatzenpeek | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | zw3rg | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | frecher Knilch Weedy_ | 52% | 271 |
| #5 | deine m0m.- | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | halbglatzenpeek | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | K1ng0fSh1t | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | frecher Knilch Weedy_ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | TitoBurasca | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Divus | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TitoBurasca | 401 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | K1ng0fSh1t | 400 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | halbglatzenpeek | 330 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | catus | 211 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | TobseOne | 197 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frecher Knilch Weedy_ | +2.15 | 62 | 57 |
| #2 | BRaw | +1.75 | 55 | 31 |
| #3 | K1ng0fSh1t | +1.27 | 57 | 72 |
| #4 | TitoBurasca | -0.39 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | zw3rg | -0.43 | 45 | 55 |





