








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6083 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5077 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6993 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1859 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,330,529 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | H3gglund | 48% | 187 |
| #9 | ✰Rotirail✰ | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | enzO | 46% | 93 |
| #11 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 45% | 138 |
| #12 | Fo4m | 39% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тебя взломали | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | H3gglund | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | enzO | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Zsaz | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тебя взломали | 467 | 0.33 | 10 min |
| #2 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 403 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | H3gglund | 328 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Fo4m | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | enzO | 227 | 0.11 | 6 min |





