








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1871 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 972 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,316 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeckeoS | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | DeathB1ade | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | ♠ Dr. SpadeS | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | No Love Title Run | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Piff Paff | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | -Mat_ | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | thok | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | Lucid | 29% | 17 |
| #11 | catfood | 29% | 14 |
| #12 | l1psl4p | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piff Paff | 11 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | No Love Title Run | 4 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | l1psl4p | 4 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | DeathB1ade | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | thok | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZenithsLov3r | 151 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Piff Paff | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | DeathB1ade | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 74 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lucid | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeckeoS | +2.51 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | ♠ Dr. SpadeS | +1.53 | 84 | 79 |
| #3 | ZenithsLov3r | +0.98 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | No Love Title Run | +0.95 | 85 | 39 |
| #5 | Lucid | +0.91 | 82 | 57 |





