








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 970 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3997 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5591 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8441 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6806 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,938,543 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Everpaige | 40% | 131 |
| #12 | 🐲 Dragni | 38% | 66 |
| #13 | ☆Major☆Executie☆ | 37% | 51 |
| #14 | kito7 7 7 | 35% | 74 |
| #15 | 「 LompiX 」 | 34% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ecki | 53 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Wuestenschlange | 23 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | 🌀JohnJayJackson🌀 | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | GoD' Zyro | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | itzPepe | 8 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ecki | 1488 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | missjasmin | 738 | 0.30 | 22 min |
| #3 | itzPepe | 615 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | Wuestenschlange | 408 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | ✞ 1Anja | 347 | 0.13 | 10 min |





