








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1151 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,900 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divine | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | henrik lamar | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Bailando | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Big_AL | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | techN | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | greenie | 52% | 73 |
| #10 | Tel | 52% | 31 |
| #11 | Madmardio | 50% | 36 |
| #12 | g0Kauf | 49% | 45 |
| #13 | MCscufterface | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divine | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g0Kauf | 213 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | greenie | 178 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Madmardio | 132 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Wôôpa | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tel | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divine | +6.65 | 80 | 80 |
| #2 | g0Kauf | +3.16 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Madmardio | +3.03 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | techN | +2.03 | 50 | 80 |
| #5 | Benno | +1.59 | 88 | 66 |





