








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2243 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2120 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1654 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1395 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,364 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwayy | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | Griezz | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | si^b^rO | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | YaBoiPappy | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | WAMBAM | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwayy | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | Griezz | 52% | 75 |
| #3 | si^b^rO | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | YaBoiPappy | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | WAMBAM | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griezz | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | WAMBAM | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | YaBoiPappy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | si^b^rO | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Shwayy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwayy | 411 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #2 | WAMBAM | 198 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Griezz | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | si^b^rO | 65 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | YaBoiPappy | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | si^b^rO | +0.45 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Lengoku | +0.44 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | YaBoiPappy | +0.30 | 71 | 40 |
| #4 | Shwayy | +0.11 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Griezz | -0.01 | 75 | 56 |





