








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1350 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1950 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 836 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1793 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,033 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BerZerk | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Beany | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Teddy Westside | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | SyC0ne | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | ππΌπ΅Dππ | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Beany | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Teddy Westside | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | SyC0ne | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | ππΌπ΅Dππ | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Pulse | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Beany | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Pulse | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 677 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | Pulse | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Beany | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | SyC0ne | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | BerZerk | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BerZerk | +5.69 | 96 | 53 |
| #2 | Teddy Westside | +1.26 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | Beany | +0.73 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | ππΌπ΅Dππ | -0.04 | 84 | 48 |
| #5 | HCTIM | -0.04 | 83 | 54 |





