








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1272 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1770 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2054 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,604 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 78% | 36 |
| #2 | blu | 69% | 32 |
| #3 | polaris | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | HCTIM | 64% | 55 |
| #5 | Dobby | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFCULT | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Teddy Westside | 146 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | HCTIM | 103 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | crewy ک | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | vort | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blu | +3.48 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Beany | +1.61 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Teddy Westside | +1.51 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | HCTIM | +1.38 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | saRge | +1.11 | 74 | 59 |





