








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6149 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3621 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2269 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,510,268 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Susan's a nonce | 51% | 380 |
| #2 | Teddy Westside | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Z3RO | 49% | 216 |
| #4 | Niff Stipples | 48% | 141 |
| #5 | PapaSouli | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Susan's a nonce | 1326 | 0.16 | 40 min |
| #2 | Z3RO | 501 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Niff Stipples | 268 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Teddy Westside | 161 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | PapaSouli | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyC0ne | +1.84 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | Teddy Westside | +1.69 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | Susan's a nonce | +0.64 | 77 | 71 |
| #4 | Niff Stipples | +0.38 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Z3RO | -1.37 | 75 | 56 |





