








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3886 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4242 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4073 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3243 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,411,986 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 701 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taylor Shift | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Michelangelo | 55% | 320 |
| #3 | Tuco Salamanca | 55% | 280 |
| #4 | Rumo | 53% | 207 |
| #5 | ☩ ManikkSpazz ☩ | 52% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michelangelo | 20 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Tuco Salamanca | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | nsch | 18 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | ☩ ManikkSpazz ☩ | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Rumo | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michelangelo | 761 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | Tuco Salamanca | 604 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Rumo | 394 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | nsch | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ☩ ManikkSpazz ☩ | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taylor Shift | +4.74 | 77 | 44 |
| #2 | Rumo | +2.90 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Tuco Salamanca | +2.69 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | Michelangelo | +1.04 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | Casey | +0.70 | 57 | 50 |





