








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 881 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1649 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1368 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,178 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tuco Salamanca | 47% | 140 |
| #9 | Grey Face (No Space) | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Casey | 46% | 117 |
| #11 | nattheplat | 46% | 63 |
| #12 | ManikkSpazz | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michelangelo | 460 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tuco Salamanca | 288 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Casey | 128 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rumo | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | nattheplat | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rumo | +4.31 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Tuco Salamanca | +2.84 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | mehnoy | +1.98 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Michelangelo | +1.77 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | Mikey | +1.56 | 88 | 65 |





