








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1502 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1902 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,961 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you're beautiful | 48% | 85 |
| #2 | Jar Jar from Lego Star Wars 2 | 47% | 73 |
| #3 | Beta | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Accentus | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | TheGingerBreadMan | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you're beautiful | 48% | 85 |
| #2 | Jar Jar from Lego Star Wars 2 | 47% | 73 |
| #3 | Beta | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Accentus | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | TheGingerBreadMan | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you're beautiful | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Jar Jar from Lego Star Wars 2 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Beta | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | TheGingerBreadMan | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jar Jar from Lego Star Wars 2 | 400 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | you're beautiful | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | TheGingerBreadMan | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Beta | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Accentus | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you're beautiful | +2.32 | 60 | 58 |
| #2 | Jar Jar from Lego Star Wars 2 | +1.72 | 45 | 65 |
| #3 | Yoda from Lego Star Wars 2 | -0.66 | 49 | 49 |
| #4 | Beta | -1.63 | 44 | 23 |
| #5 | TheGingerBreadMan | -4.35 | 36 | 38 |





