








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1694 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3446 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,353,000 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coal | 54% | 124 |
| #2 | Stephbro | 54% | 162 |
| #3 | The Stoganator | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Clem | 50% | 321 |
| #5 | GoodLy | 48% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Clem | 50% | 321 |
| #5 | GoodLy | 48% | 87 |
| #6 | Blue-Eyes White Fraggin' | 46% | 170 |
| #7 | goldfish slut | 46% | 160 |
| #8 | Rudy | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clem | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Stephbro | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Blue-Eyes White Fraggin' | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | goldfish slut | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Coal | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clem | 1484 | 0.22 | 46 min |
| #2 | Blue-Eyes White Fraggin' | 501 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Stephbro | 496 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | GoodLy | 347 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Coal | 181 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coal | +0.93 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Stephbro | +0.90 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | binkelhamer | +0.53 | 73 | 42 |
| #4 | GoodLy | +0.43 | 73 | 77 |
| #5 | Clem | +0.32 | 56 | 88 |





