








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3847 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4345 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2904 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4609 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,396 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GermanHammer | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Capt.DeadPool | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | OSAMABINRIZZIN | 52% | 339 |
| #4 | Coaliti | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Mr. Leaks | 45% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GermanHammer | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Capt.DeadPool | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | OSAMABINRIZZIN | 52% | 339 |
| #4 | Coaliti | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Mr. Leaks | 45% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OSAMABINRIZZIN | 28 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mr. Leaks | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Capt.DeadPool | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Coaliti | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | GermanHammer | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OSAMABINRIZZIN | 498 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Capt.DeadPool | 336 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Coaliti | 282 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mr. Leaks | 269 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | GermanHammer | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GermanHammer | +4.30 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | Klipz | +2.75 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | Coaliti | +0.30 | 47 | 50 |
| #4 | Capt.DeadPool | -0.27 | 39 | 58 |
| #5 | OSAMABINRIZZIN | -1.02 | 28 | 48 |





