








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3432 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1617 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3904 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3698 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,059,665 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoedini | 941 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | Quasi | 394 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | Seize | 310 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sparkity | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | KRANK | 110 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Cherry | +2.79 | 58 | 48 |
| #2 | Hoedini | +2.57 | 53 | 60 |
| #3 | Sparkity | +2.33 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | KRANK | +1.47 | 75 | 42 |
| #5 | Banjo lawrence | -0.31 | 27 | 43 |





