








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3281 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1906 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,717 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | water | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Freaky Steve | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Ric Flair Drip | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | ContractKilla | 57% | 60 |
| #5 | Lion | 56% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Steve | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Ric Flair Drip | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | samurai guy | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ContractKilla | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Lion | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lion | 575 | 0.35 | 15 min |
| #2 | Ric Flair Drip | 279 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | ContractKilla | 164 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Freaky Steve | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | water | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenging_Goose | +3.15 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | water | +1.73 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | ContractKilla | +1.35 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | Ric Flair Drip | +1.08 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | Freaky Steve | +0.93 | 81 | 47 |





