








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 963 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 547 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13914 | 32% |
| Smokes | 11071 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9286 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8952 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,562,251 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Gubsy | 1748 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | Pleeqi | 962 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | Reign | 696 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | botshit | 642 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | Chewnez | 495 | 0.20 | 14 min |





