








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1729 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2409 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2201 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,828 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matikki | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | VE's | 52% | 162 |
| #3 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 52% | 114 |
| #4 | Pixelin | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | Jonttunen | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0p0 | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Jonttunen | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | OPwnrchild | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Caps lokki | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | VE's | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VE's | 670 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 663 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | OPwnrchild | 301 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pixelin | 261 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Caps lokki | 233 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VE's | +4.54 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | _shaws | +2.57 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | topskari | +2.49 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | OPwnrchild | +1.78 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | markka01 | +0.04 | 32 | 54 |





