








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5129 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3555 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3649 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3478 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,783,796 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danzane | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Jonttunen | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | CSCSV | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | jg | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Mighty Mandel | 53% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mighty Mandel | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Pixelin | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Caps lokki | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | markka01 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 1513 | 0.25 | 37 min |
| #2 | Pixelin | 587 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Mighty Mandel | 434 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | kotix | 221 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Caps lokki | 141 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VE's | +3.87 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | danzane | +2.76 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | kotix | -0.06 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | -0.37 | 42 | 69 |
| #5 | Mighty Mandel | -0.47 | 35 | 66 |





