










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4881 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1397 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2489 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,447 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mighty Mandel | 54% | 136 |
| #2 | Jonttunen | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | VE's | 52% | 211 |
| #4 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 51% | 134 |
| #5 | HydraFungus | 51% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markka01 | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | n0p0 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | OPwnrchild | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Caps lokki | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | VE's | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VE's | 901 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | ޘ ཛ ᡌ ᥭ ޤ | 765 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #3 | OPwnrchild | 489 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | Caps lokki | 416 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | markka01 | 248 | 0.07 | 6 min |





