








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 979 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1500 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1413 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,573 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ ππ‘π‘ππππ‘ππ§ | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | LuckyDevil | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | εDaSINK | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MaxAlbert | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Quintaurin | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckyDevil | 226 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | zentre | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | ππ ππ‘π‘ππππ‘ππ§ | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mattes | 52 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | MaxAlbert | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |





