








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3361 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4525 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3085 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4019 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,521 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Will | 57% | 46 |
| #10 | YaBuoyJay | 56% | 112 |
| #11 | Nik | 55% | 95 |
| #12 | SL33P | 55% | 22 |
| #13 | DangaTheRanga | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlamboyantTurtle92 | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | YaBuoyJay | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Nik | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | BakedOut | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | fizzy | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlamboyantTurtle92 | 290 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Matt | 272 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | YaBuoyJay | 261 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | BakedOut | 167 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nik | 161 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactical Banana | +4.38 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | Matt | +2.79 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | fizzy | +2.69 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | Nik | +2.04 | 81 | 51 |
| #5 | Will | +1.11 | 69 | 52 |





