








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4323 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 4889 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1349 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,065,766 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fizzy | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Tactical Banana | 55% | 95 |
| #3 | YaBuoyJay | 49% | 256 |
| #4 | oontz | 49% | 140 |
| #5 | Duck | 46% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Walkingsmall | 41% | 96 |
| #10 | Tuna Sandwich | 40% | 82 |
| #11 | .Mic | 40% | 88 |
| #12 | tones | 35% | 52 |
| #13 | yebblies | 30% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Will | 507 | 0.1246 |
| #2 | YaBuoyJay | 20 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Jade | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | yebblies | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Duck | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaBuoyJay | 621 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Will | 598 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Walkingsmall | 347 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | oontz | 240 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tuna Sandwich | 238 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactical Banana | +2.95 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | Nik | +2.26 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | YaBuoyJay | +2.12 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | fizzy | +1.87 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | oontz | +1.62 | 78 | 59 |





