








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1351 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1028 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,051 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | curse | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | finger ded | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | f4ded | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | XPZ | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | ClutchLlama | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 198 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | curse | 167 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kubz | 72 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | f4ded | 63 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ClutchLlama | 58 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.74 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | XPZ | +1.71 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | ClutchLlama | +0.83 | 79 | 76 |
| #4 | finger ded | +0.33 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | curse | +0.06 | 73 | 66 |





