








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2897 | 44% |
| Smokes | 762 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1500 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,829 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | f4ded | 58% | 84 |
| #6 | buffalo burger | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Wagdoh cs.money | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | Kubz | 50% | 108 |
| #9 | Noname | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kubz | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | YC D Money | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Noname | 5 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | f4ded | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Wagdoh cs.money | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kubz | 504 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | f4ded | 384 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | YC D Money | 121 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wagdoh cs.money | 109 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Noname | 58 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger ded | +3.73 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Noname | +2.65 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Wagdoh cs.money | +2.44 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | buffalo burger | +1.89 | 40 | 9 |
| #5 | YC D Money | +0.63 | 61 | 54 |





