








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1102 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3199 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1853 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,343 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | yamakyo | 48% | 42 |
| #9 | elch has a deathwish | 47% | 64 |
| #10 | zMilad | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Perrymeister | 43% | 51 |
| #12 | Jurii | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JapaneseMuscle | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Perrymeister | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | zMilad | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | yamakyo | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Dallmayr | 2 | 0.0024 |





