








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 482 | 31% |
| Smokes | 368 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 318 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,986 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOEJOE 8< | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | eMbo | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Jokull | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Hjaul | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hjaul | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 60% | 15 |
| #6 | slicer | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | ste | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | wlzNkj$ is rws | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slicer | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | JOEJOE 8< | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ste | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hjaul | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOEJOE 8< | +3.52 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Sællettudjus | +1.32 | 55 | 70 |
| #3 | ste | +1.00 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | wlzNkj$ is rws | +0.41 | 63 | 83 |
| #5 | slicer | +0.02 | 46 | 74 |





