








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 99 | 24% |
| Smokes | 117 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 108 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,233 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOEJOE 8< | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Sællettudjus | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | slicer | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | wlzNkj$ is rws | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | slicer | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | wlzNkj$ is rws | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Jokull | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | ste | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sællettudjus | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | slicer | 23 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 21 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | ste | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | JOEJOE 8< | 8 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOEJOE 8< | +9.11 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | wlzNkj$ is rws | +4.34 | 66 | 88 |
| #3 | slicer | +0.70 | 40 | 72 |
| #4 | Sællettudjus | +0.67 | 48 | 67 |
| #5 | ste | +0.19 | 46 | 69 |





