








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1022 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1492 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,863 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joy simp | 84% | 87 |
| #2 | hoodrych | 78% | 129 |
| #3 | Kiwi | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | Bloo | 72% | 25 |
| #5 | RHY | 69% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pat | 58% | 12 |
| #8 | guine machine | 48% | 29 |
| #9 | Jesus Saves | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | acroniks | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | Rascal | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joy simp | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | hoodrych | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | RHY | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Rascal | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | acroniks | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoodrych | 551 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | joy simp | 417 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bloo | 138 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | RHY | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | guine machine | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joy simp | +4.74 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | hoodrych | +4.29 | 94 | 70 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +1.36 | 92 | 63 |
| #4 | RHY | +1.23 | 78 | 50 |
| #5 | chewie | +0.94 | 74 | 68 |





