








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 332 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3589 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3826 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,663,358 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 63% | 35 | ||
| 55% | 31 | ||
| 54% | 153 | ||
| #4 | ☢ Ὗ☠կԓꞡꞰiƩ™ ☢ | 53% | 197 |
| #5 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 52% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | 0.0020 | ||
| #2 | Daniel | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Hostilein | 5 | 0.0006 |
| 4 | 0.0065 | ||
| #5 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 206 | 0.07 | 3 min | ||
| #2 | Hostilein | 40 | 0.00 | 1 min |
| #3 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 40 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | Daniel | 38 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| 31 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel | +2.55 | 48 | 29 |
| #2 | ☢ Ὗ☠կԓꞡꞰiƩ™ ☢ | +2.04 | 34 | 29 |
| #3 | Docci341 | +1.90 | 31 | 47 |
| #4 | Hostilein | +1.58 | 34 | 38 |
| #5 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | +1.46 | 68 | 46 |





