








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 798 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 453 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 343 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2578 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3029 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,981,618 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KILLBILL✠HY | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Docci341 | 53% | 197 |
| #3 | ★彡[Sh4me0ny0u]彡★ | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Hostilein | 49% | 318 |
| #5 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | 48% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | 48% | 230 |
| 46% | 456 | ||
| #7 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 46% | 293 |
| #8 | Daniel | 44% | 147 |
| 35% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 15 | 0.0017 | ||
| #2 | Hostilein | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Daniel | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 674 | 0.07 | 11 min | ||
| #2 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | 98 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | Docci341 | 93 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♀Mein C tut W wenn ich G♥ | 63 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hostilein | 47 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★彡[Sh4me0ny0u]彡★ | +3.21 | 69 | 35 |
| #2 | Docci341 | +2.44 | 30 | 44 |
| #3 | ☢ Ὗ☠կԓꞡꞰiƩ™ ☢ | +2.39 | 36 | 31 |
| #4 | ☯ OsterHaze ☯ | +1.69 | 70 | 51 |
| #5 | Daniel | +1.55 | 48 | 29 |





