








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6521 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4756 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3146 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3558 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,155 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 741 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Drakus | 85% | 40 |
| #11 | uppers | 81% | 21 |
| #12 | Mr Shark | 80% | 54 |
| #13 | baxter | 78% | 59 |
| #14 | Cefty | 76% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baxter | 12 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | bluek1ng | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | helix | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | rem1cks | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Mr Shark | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix | 566 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | bluek1ng | 393 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mr Shark | 271 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | ws | 211 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | baxter | 192 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix | +4.85 | 97 | 66 |
| #2 | elfmelk | +4.45 | 89 | 70 |
| #3 | Mr Shark | +3.97 | 90 | 65 |
| #4 | Waffe | +3.87 | 90 | 42 |
| #5 | Cefty | +3.53 | 86 | 69 |





