








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6330 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5434 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4764 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4607 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,561 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 824 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K@S | 59% | 153 |
| #2 | GnL | 56% | 218 |
| #3 | Hassan Zehef | 55% | 94 |
| #4 | Ottman | 55% | 274 |
| #5 | khrjke | 54% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ottman | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | khrjke | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | K@S | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Hassan Zehef | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | GnL | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GnL | 1616 | 0.35 | 47 min |
| #2 | khrjke | 1079 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #3 | Ottman | 864 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #4 | K@S | 426 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | The B | 332 | 0.14 | 8 min |





