








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1315 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1352 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 872 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 456 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,239 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NO___osaj | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | ✪ Frisbee | 52% | 109 |
| #3 | Avenger | 45% | 249 |
| #4 | Ocoenia | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Forty | 44% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Avenger | 45% | 249 |
| #4 | Ocoenia | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Forty | 44% | 119 |
| #6 | Benjamiiin ♥ | 39% | 54 |
| #7 | IrishCreamPuff | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Forty | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ✪ Frisbee | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Benjamiiin ♥ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | IrishCreamPuff | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger | 1097 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | ✪ Frisbee | 286 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Forty | 268 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | NO___osaj | 169 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Benjamiiin ♥ | 130 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger | +1.90 | 63 | 68 |
| #2 | Forty | +0.82 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | NO___osaj | -0.39 | 71 | 76 |
| #4 | ✪ Frisbee | -0.84 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | IrishCreamPuff | -2.14 | 58 | 61 |





