








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 631 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 748 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3486 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,247 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoca- | 50% | 250 |
| #2 | pit | 50% | 404 |
| #3 | Tron.nik3000 | 48% | 347 |
| #4 | EXi7 | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | DerZonk | 46% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoca- | 50% | 250 |
| #2 | pit | 50% | 404 |
| #3 | Tron.nik3000 | 48% | 347 |
| #4 | EXi7 | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | DerZonk | 46% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerZonk | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | knoca- | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | pit | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Tron.nik3000 | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoca- | 1436 | 0.28 | 40 min |
| #2 | Tron.nik3000 | 315 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | DerZonk | 290 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | pit | 281 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | EXi7 | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoca- | +2.25 | 74 | 77 |
| #2 | Lou | +2.00 | 65 | 40 |
| #3 | EXi7 | +0.06 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | pit | -0.28 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | Tron.nik3000 | -1.96 | 46 | 40 |





