








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7442 | 50% |
| Smokes | 2983 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3029 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,045 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | 50% | 250 |
| #2 | pit | 49% | 264 |
| #3 | Tron.nik3000 | 48% | 248 |
| #4 | DerZonk | 46% | 176 |
| #5 | EXi7 | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | 50% | 250 |
| #2 | pit | 49% | 264 |
| #3 | Tron.nik3000 | 48% | 248 |
| #4 | DerZonk | 46% | 176 |
| #5 | EXi7 | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerZonk | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Lou | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Tron.nik3000 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | EXi7 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerZonk | 254 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tron.nik3000 | 232 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | pit | 199 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lou | 100 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | EXi7 | 27 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoca- | +2.34 | 74 | 77 |
| #2 | Lou | +1.91 | 66 | 38 |
| #3 | pit | -0.49 | 62 | 46 |
| #4 | EXi7 | -1.07 | 69 | 45 |
| #5 | Tron.nik3000 | -1.95 | 47 | 41 |





