








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10576 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9458 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4480 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 7028 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,612 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jewbacca | 50% | 80 |
| #3 | HøøJ | 50% | 380 |
| #4 | P3doYoda | 50% | 173 |
| #5 | Joppe | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | Deano 阴茎 | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbacca | +1.33 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | Joppe | +1.12 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | HøøJ | +0.73 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Krynex | +0.27 | 62 | 70 |
| #5 | Deano 阴茎 | -1.47 | 61 | 56 |





