








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7275 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6380 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4289 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4095 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,755 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waLnut | 63% | 57 |
| #2 | QSX_Monotox | 49% | 358 |
| #3 | Timo | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | azzuro | 47% | 204 |
| #5 | MrHuman/Dancer | 46% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrHuman/Dancer | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Lyx | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | azzuro | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | QSX_Monotox | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Timo | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QSX_Monotox | 1104 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #2 | Lyx | 617 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | MrHuman/Dancer | 411 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | azzuro | 212 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | waLnut | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waLnut | +4.35 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | CRU_ | +1.68 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | Timo | +1.30 | 79 | 41 |
| #4 | azzuro | -0.12 | 32 | 57 |
| #5 | MrHuman/Dancer | -1.07 | 35 | 67 |





